There’s a big misconception that success and opportunities lie greatly on the idea of “who you know”. It’s just not true. I know a lot of people. I know a lot of names and in some cases I probably know a heck of a lot more about them than they know about me… if they even know my name.

No one is going to call me up and offer an opportunity of any kind when they don’t even know me.

I’m not saying “know” as in be best buds or add the title of Godparent to their relationship duties. No. I’m saying really know them; who is this person beyond their name or title, what do they do, how do they handle business, how do they treat people. But again, it’s not about what you know about them…

It’s about what they know about you.

Who are you penguin by Jen Goode

People like to work with and be around like minded individuals. They like to feel a connection on some level, even in business. You could plan this by meeting people and playing it off like you fit in. However, down the road the truth will come through, so save everyone the time and the hassle and just be who you are and be a darn great you.

What it all comes down to is this: the best opportunities will come to you because you are a great person and others know it. Key, let me repeat this because it’s a two part comment…

Opportunities will come your way because:

• You are a great person
• Others know it

These keys are interchangeable and required of each other. Both parts to that equation have to be in place for it to make a difference. You have to be consistent about it as well. You can’t be great toward one group of people and not another or let one group know you and not another. Word does travel. This is the chatterbox age and what you do or say or act like at breakfast will come out somewhere by lunchtime, if not before the breakfast dishes are washed.

I guess this is where the “it just fell into my lap” comes in. Opportunities don’t really “just happen”. Nothing realistically “just lands” anywhere.

Opportunities happen because of who you are and who knows it.

So be a great you, strive for your goals regardless of what others do or say or believe and good things will indeed come. Just a side note, your view of a “good thing” might not be what you get, so make sure your expectations include acceptance of surprises.

I went and saw Inception last night, and WOW! What an incredibly awesome movie. The ending was unpredictable, the details throughout were amazing and the visuals were fantastic. It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen a movie I really enjoyed, not to mention that I would be willing to pay to see again.

Inception is an exception.

Inception the movie from Warner Bros

Inception is fast paced, intricate and definitely entertaining. It’s visually intriguing, I found myself in awe of the tiniest of details in the sets and effects. You have to really watch the movie or you’ll end up in the maze they’ve created, but once you’re in, you’re in. I’m a big fan of the full circle storyline especially when it’s obvious it’s not moving in full circle. I found myself wishing there were a book series I could go grab to read.

Usually it seems that movie trailers these days have pieces of the best scenes with nothing left to really discover watching the film. Inception’s trailers are entertaining and definitely create an interest, but they are only a tiny piece of the excitement and involvement the full movie has in story.

Inception from Warner Bros

I think this movie is a perfect example of the creator/writer/artist having a vision, knowing what it is they see, and executing it in a way to share with the universe as they see it… while still leaving room for the audience to add themselves into the story. As I was leaving the theater, I found myself wondering, “what if the concept of living in a dream were really my reality?” and my perspective of the night changed. I loved this movie, great job Christopher Nolan!

Inception is absolutely going on my list of all time favs.

There is a baby boom going on in my neighborhood! In the last month 4 babies have been born on my block and there is one more on the way in the next few weeks – not to mention a few other babies out in the internet universe where I mingle. So when Tiny Prints was asking for bloggers to share their thoughts about unique baby shower ideas, I couldn’t help but jump in.

Traditionally, baby showers have been focused on the mother-to-be. Now, however, there is a trend to have a couples shower, celebrating both parents and their growing family. However, when there are already children in the family, many times there is no baby shower. Families choose to reuse what they have so don’t need the assistance in baby purchases. I’ve always thought of baby showers as a way to celebrate the arrival of a new family member, and when there is reason to celebrate, there is always need for a party!

So I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to come up with a way to celebrate the new baby, have a party for the occasion, but also make it an exciting experience for the siblings?

Here are some ideas for baby showers for the whole family:

1. Plan the party for after the baby is born so friends and family all have a chance to meet the new arrival and welcome him or her into the world. This will also give others the opportunity to share their excitement for the “new big brother” or “new big sister”, encouraging the important the sibling’s new role in the family.
2. Make it a family event, invite friends and family for all members in the expectant family including siblings best friends (and their parents).
3. Ask the new sibling to help MC the event, announcing game winners, passing gifts to mom and dad to open, etc. If you host a party after the baby is born, the sibling could also introduce the new baby to the guests.
4. Instead of gifts for the needs of a new baby (because the family will be reusing what they already have), include gifts for the sibling. “Big Brother” t-shirts, baby dolls for the “little mommy”, etc.
5. Ask all the guests to sign a guest book specific for the older sibling, sharing their excitement and “congrats for being the best big brother ever!”.

Party ideas, games and food for a baby shower for the whole family.

If you’re planning the party after the baby is born, try to have the sibling/s help plan the event. This will give the sibling something fun to do relating to their new brother or sister and it will help keep the sibling occupied while mom and dad care for the new baby.

Here are a few suggestions the whole gang will enjoy:

1. Keep your theme simple – “family fun” is a nice generic theme that will accommodate a lot of ideas into one mood. If it’s not a first baby, colors ideas can come from a variety
2. Make a diaper cake – they’re easy, practical and super cute. Find fun small baby items and incorporate them into the cake after you assemble the main pieces. Things like ointment, washcloths, small baby toys fit nicely. (I’m a bit biased, I adore baby diaper cakes!). Best diaper cake tutorial on YouTube.
3. Serve snacking finger food such as veggies, cheese and crackers, mini quiche, fruit kabobs, brownie-bites and other yummy bite sized treats. With kids running around and the excitement of family, friends, new babies and gifts… the last thing you need is a messy, saucy food item spilling all over the floor. You could also host the party as a pot luck event to keep the costs low.
4. Have the sibling help pick out the games to play, the prizes or favors and even the baby shower invitations. Kids often times pick the most fun things to do, so really get into the spirit of the family event with the siblings helping all along the way.
5. Make cake mix cookies instead of cupcakes or traditional cake. They’re an easy treat to make and a lot less messy with the kids. You can frost them as you would a cupcake or you can eat them plain as is.

My Favorite resources for baby shower ideas, gifts and party accessories:

• Invitations and thank you cards from Tiny Prints
• Planning a Baby shower at BabyCenter.com
• Printable baby shower games from BabyShowerGamesAtoZ.com
• Unique Baby Shower Favors & Gifts at Beau-Coup

Whether you are planning a baby shower for a first time parent, or a parent of 12 (can you imagine??), it should always be able family and the joy of a new family member entering the world. What could be more memorable than celebrating together?

To all the recently expectant parents I know… Congratulations and happiness to you!!

Some of the adorable invitations at Tiny Prints:



Disclaimer:
I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Tiny
Prints blogging program, making me eligible to get a Tiny Prints gift
code worth $50, plus 25 FREE Tiny Prints greeting cards—a total gift
value of $149.75! For more information on how you can participate, click here.

I run in a bunch of different circles when it comes to my business, my family and my life. I’m an illustrator, an affiliate marketer, a designer, a coder, a crafter, a blogger, a webmaster, a business woman, a writer and sometimes a teacher. Not to mention the standard roles of life cycles like a mom, a wife, a sister, etc. So many directions really… how can I possibly stay organized and stay on task? I don’t, I compartmentalize and then I organize my compartments mentally. Really that comes down to just becoming mental… all the time.

I find myself surrounded with projects both on the computer and on my desk and when I stop working to look up long enough to note the chaos around me, I get grumpy that I created such an unorganized mess. I get irritated that there is no one reminding me to pick up after myself let alone anyone reminding themselves to take care of any of their own things. Really how am I accomplishing anything? Sometimes the crazy environment is too much which then inspires me to start another project instead of focus on the one I was excited about last week.

Through it all I do finish things… all the time. Yet, there’s got to be a better way.

I’ve heard all kinds of great ideas and even tried many of them. I can rationalize my way out of any stressful situation, so sticking with something that isn’t a happy project is not something I do well. Instead I prefer to work on happy and let the rest grow mold by itself. I’ll eventually come back to it… if I remember it was something I wanted to do. Which reminds me… I had a brilliant idea to start building an image database for all my art this week. I sat down to think about how I wanted it to work, how I wanted it to flow and what I would need to do to make it function for others to navigate easily.

I opened up my server account to set up a new database for the project only to realize not only did I already have a database ready to go, I’d already written 3/2 of the program I was dreaming up. It’s like having your own personal fairy god mother, inside your head! Saved myself all kinds of headaches… having done the work already.

So then the reality sets in. How the heck do I keep myself organized enough to remember not only what I have to do and what I want to do… but what I’ve already done and what I need to remember I have?

A spreadsheet won’t help me remember I need to eat lunch. A reminder service or calendar notes would become ridiculous if I enter every thought, idea and brainstorm I have. I can’t get a notice to tell me I left the milk out because the phone rang so I went outside as I phone wandered throughout the conversation only to come back to the computer to start a project I left last week.

I’ve gone back after months of writing a program and not remembered writing it.. looking at the code like it’s a foriegn language. I’ve created a piece of art and completely forgotten about it… created something similar and when I’m about to save it realize I made the first only because I named them the same and the computer won’t allow the duplicate name.

Is my mind failing me? Some say it’s kids. “you have a full house, you have young kids”. Yet I’ve seen plenty of other folks with kids appear to be sane and mentally with it. They appear to handle all of their directions just fine. So then again… how does one organize it all and then make it work?

It’s frustrating to me because it seems I am gaining information by leaps and bounds on a continual basis, however it’s more like getting hit with a big juice piece of chocolate cake.. only to have it slide down my head and land on the floor. How am I supposed to enjoy that fabulous-ness?

I have half an answer for myself. Instead of taking the time to organize, plan and keep up with myself, I just run with it. I get an idea, I can “see” how to accomplish it, and I literally take off. I don’t stop to worry about the details of other things that aren’t related and I don’t make the time I should to organize in other corners. I work moment to moment whacking at my dream to-do list and what ends up happening is I finish a great project but turn around to see the path I’ve left behind… it’s a mess. Like laundry on the floor that the dog decided to dig through.

So my goal is to make time to organize, put that on my to-do list and make it a priority. Make it a checkmark worthy task to organize various facets of my life and then be consistant about keeping up with it all.

What helps you stay organized with yourself, your family and your work?

Where is the line when it comes to interactions beyond the friendly handshake or howdy-dos at professional, work related events?

Working from home many of us tend to forge friendships at the same time we are growing our business relationships. It’s a natural fit to share personal lives when surrounded by our personal lives on a continual basis. Yet, when does it become ok to let the professionalism slide so far into the personal level that sexual comments, actions or suggestions become ok in the work environment?

I’ve noticed that bending the “rules” of acceptable behavior at professional events is becoming a growing trend. As a self employed business woman, I attend a variety of conferences and local gatherings to help grow and expand my business reach. I love to network and tend make friends easily. I do not, however, recall signing up for the “anything goes” list of participants, yet over the last few years I’ve witnessed more events where adult behavior has crossed the line far beyond inappropriate.

Working for ourselves, or attending industry events there are no sexual harassment policies we must sign. There are no warnings that “this content may be offensive to some viewers/participants”. It’s assumed that those participating on any level will behave appropriately. So then the question is, what is “appropriate” and why are there such a varied views? We set standards, policies and expectations for everyone to adhere to for everything else we do… except when it comes to our personal morals, values and ethics.

Corporations have sexual harassment policies to help draw that line in the sand and give a reasonable view and expectation of what is acceptable in the work environment. This helps to level the playing field for the varying beliefs and views of everyone involved. These guidelines generally don’t fluctuate just because the company activities change venues or time lines… the policies are just as valid for 9-5 Monday-Friday work hours in the office as they are for the midnight kiss hour of a company New Years eve party.

Before you read anything further please consider this…

Just because you are comfortable or ok with something, doesn’t make it ok for anyone else. We each have our own comfort levels and our own expectations of behavior, being aware of this and acting with consideration to those around you is called respect. If you don’t practice it already, you work on that, pronto.

Consider the following situations:

Situation #1

I attended an event where the conference “sponsored” party included not only topless waitresses, but a portion of the venue’s available entertainment was watching the topless waitresses have their bare chests painted… as part of their “work attire”.

In no way is this type of situation appropriate for a professional industry function when inviting a mainstream attendee list. This was not an adult content conference nor was the venue’s activity information provided ahead of time to potential visitors. In any other work situation, opening the door to for others to unknowingly walk through to this type of environment would be a form of sexual harassment.

Situation #2

Recently I attended an event that I have participated in regularly. I have friends and colleagues I enjoy spending time with. The event is accompanied by a variety of side activities and parties hosted by industry related companies. I found myself dealing with crude comments from men I wasn’t close friends with. I then discovered that my admitting my discomfort with the whole situation made me feel like it was my fault and I was blowing things out of proportion.

In this situation, I had let my business face down to enjoy time with friends. Did I open the door for crass unexpected comments? Does the change of environment from conference floor to after-party change the rules of behavior?

I can’t help but think, in this case, had my husband attended with me, would the same comments have been made? Worst of all, I found myself struggling between saying something or just pushing the entire situation out of mind pretending nothing happened. I have lost trust in those involved and will be less likely to get involved with them on any kind of business level.

The whole thing is wrong. You should never have to find yourself in an internal battle of right vs wrong. You should never have to blame yourself for something you didn’t do nor should you apologize for standing up for yourself.

Maybe my view is extreme, but why should it not be extreme? We each have the right to stand up for ourselves, to feel comfortable and safe. We also each have the obligation of being kind and considerate to others. We need to respect those around us and know the limits.

Here’s the catch: Innocent humor can easily be turned into something it’s not meant to be. Where is that turning point and when does it happen?

For me it came down to this, these were not people that have met my family, they are not people I send holiday cards to… they are not close friends. They don’t really know me any more than I know many of you who may be reading this. So their choice of words or actions toward me on a personal level were not invited nor ok.

There is a time and place for certain behaviors and even outside of the office, there should still be a level of professionalism in every work related event. Sexual behavior and commentary does not belong in a work environment. It’s a side of life that is meant to be more personal and private and kept between friends and family.

It’s up to each of us to protect the integrity of the business environment we work in.

Additional Note: I’ve received a few inquiries about which events I’m referring to in my above examples while others are assuming it’s one event or another. I attend a variety of local events here in Colorado as well as conferencesthat are out of state. I participate in events for a variety of industries specialties as well… Affiliate marketing, blogging, women in business, art or art licensing. My hope in sharing the above commentary was to bring light to a subject that is rarely discussed and happens everywhere… it is not industry nor location specific. All of the conferences I attend are informative and valueable experiences I would recommend to others… it’s the behavior of a few that tend to spoil the vibe for the rest. My goal was to help bring light to the topic in hopes that people might stop to remember why they go to these types of events to begin with.

iPhoto doesn’t come right out and tell you that you can use multiple image libraries, but you can and quite easily too. Switching between libraries is as simple as holding down the option key while starting the iPhoto program. You can even store your iPhoto image library on an external drive if you’d like. Along with this option comes a few quirks and issues you might not be aware of.

1. Libraries can sometimes become embedded inside libraries. This can make it difficult to find images and quite frustrating to organize. To see what your library contains, right click on a library in your finder file browser and select “show package contents”. You can then easily copy the photos elsewhere to properly import into a new library.

2. External drives and force create new libraries. If you store your iPhoto library on an external drive and the external becomes disconnected while you have iPhoto running, or when starting up iPhoto, the program may automatically create a new library. Sometimes this new library is difficult to find in your files… where iPhoto thinks it’s saving things, I don’t think anyone knows.

3. Recovering missing photos can be a bear. If new libraries are created and you have no idea where they are in your file structure, finding the contained photos can become a nightmare. The last thing you need is multiple libraries with precious photos you can’t even find when you need them.

Some solutions:

If you find yourself in the situation missing photos or unknown locations of libraries and can’t seem to find the location of newly imported photos, there is a relatively simple fix. Open up iPhoto referencing the new library. While viewing photos (not events) select all photos and then choose “export” from the file menu. Make sure to export to a location you can find later. Then close and reopen iPhoto now referencing the library you want your photos contained in. Import the recently exported photos by selecting the entire directory.

Whatever you do, don’t overwrite anything or reinstall anything. Your photos are there on your computer somewhere.. they just aren’t playing nice.

Remember, if you merely select a library from your file browser and choose to open it with iPhoto, you’re going to view the same set of images no matter with library you’ve picked. You need to, instead, choose the library you want to view by opening iPhoto while holding down the option key.

Happy photo hunting!

I’ve been hosting a big portion of my web properties on Dreamhost for the last 4 years. In general I’ve been very pleased with the services and options. A year or so ago I was moved to a psuedo private environment and loved it until I started getting the monthly bills. Apparently my amateur coding skills had created a few scripts that were complete resource hogs and my checkbook was paying the consequences.

So, over the last month I’ve been moving to a new host, a new account and a new, much happier bill. The coolest part, the new service even told me where my sites were sucking all the juice from the system… so now the problem is solved, my bank account isn’t screaming at my hosting habit and all is well. Do a hula dance now if you must.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been happy with the account and the support, I’ve just outgrown the service as it was provided.

To top it off, I had a happy account closing experience today. My final bill was going to be $95 plus change. I took the time to delete files, users, email addresses, etc. and managed to knock that fee down to $79 something. Then as I was going through the account closing process I was given a credit (not sure why) resulting in my amount due being knocked down again so I only owed $39.87 – Yay Me!

I am sad to say goodbye, but had to make the change to continue to grow my business.

To end the entire experience, I just received the following email confirming my account closing:

Hello,

This is just an email verification for you that we’ve now closed your
Account as you just requested via our web panel.

You will no longer receive any bills from us (unless you kept an
active domain _registration_ with us) nor other communications.

We’re very sorry it didn’t work out and maybe we’ll see you again
someday!

Sincerely,
The UnHappy DreamHost Goodbye Team

I wish more companies would add some flavor to their commentary! I sure am going to miss the Dreamhost humor.

PS just so Dreamhost doesn’t cry too much, I’ve also left Lunarpages, Planet Domain, GoDaddy and Hostgator in the last year. Moving on…

I recently returned from our first official family vacation. Official as in, on vacation with just my husband and my kids, with no reason to be on a trip other than to spent time with each other. No other family to visit, no appointments, meetings or even conference calls to participate in.

Sounds delightful doesn’t it?

If you said yes, you’ve never been the mom on a family vacation.

It was delightful and I did anticipate the learning curve of experiencing something new as a group. There’s 5 of us in my family so there are 5 personalities, 5 lists of needs/wants and 5 sets of emotions to deal with at any given time. I planned for this, I even prepped the family of the importance of working together and making sure we paid attention to what everyone else needed.

However, I did not plan for how I would react to all of it. So, needless to say, I learned a lot.

Here are the top 10 things I learned while on my family vacation:

1. There is such a thing as too much planning. I had scheduled where we we go each day and what activities we would try to do. I made a point to be flexible, yet I did not leave much room for “doing nothing”. Turned out we needed a few doing-nothing days so we ended up missing out on two activities I was looking forward to… ultimately no one minded but me.
2. Always be realistic. Know your limits on patience, time, traveling, food… everything. Don’t try to over do anything because you think vacation allows for more of anything, it doesn’t and it shouldn’t. If anything, vacation should limit normal limits to even less than usual because the idea is to be stress free.
3. Lay your expectations out in the open. I tend to assume my kids (and husband) know my expectations regardless of where we go or what we do. I expect good behavior, respectful attitudes and generally nice human beings. Turns out that the term “vacation” brings out the lazy maybe inconsiderate or even rude in some people when it comes to how to behave. Once I re-established my expecations for these positive behaviors, the issues went away.
4. Vacations are not marathons. We had so much fun that some times we forgot we needed to stop and take a break, even if only for an hour or so. Inevitably, someone would have a meltdown and the family mood would go sour.
5. Potty trained does not mean pee-resistant. Again, having so much fun, sometimes we’d forget to make sure no one had to go potty… bad thing to forget.
6. Divide your time. We are a family that tends to spend a lot of time together. My husband and I both work from home, so we both see the kids often but we do divide our parental duties so one isn’t doing everything and the kids aren’t constantly with everyone. Making sure to continue this time split proves to be a good idea, especially before the sibling nit-picking got ugly.
7. Think outside your own bubble. Because we each have our own personal agenda for what a vacation is, it’s often difficult to remember anyone else matters on vacation. This was one of our toughest lessons. I found myself angry because no one was thinking about anyone else, everyone was acting like I was supposed to handle and do everything. My getting angry didn’t make for a happy day for anyone, which made me more angry. Again, ugly.
8. It’s not a vacation until you forget you have a job. Usually I bring my laptop on trips and I get some kind of work accomplished. This time I brought my laptop and only used it to check emails briefly and post updates to Facebook. I didn’t worry about work or responsibilities at home because gosh darnit I was on vacation!
9. If you keep your kids up late, they’ll sleep in. A couple nights we were all out until well after 11pm. At home the kids would be up at 7 or 8 no matter when we put them to bed, but somehow the vacation air kept them snoring until 10am or so. THAT is what I call vacation!
10. Be patient and enjoy each other. Regardless of your expectations, intentions, plans, irritations or whatever, the whole point of a vacation is to spend some quality time with each other, relax and enjoy just being together. The sooner the agendas and uptight micro-managing can be set aside, the sooner the real vacation can begin.
11. Bonus – Unexpected smiles still happen. no matter how old you are, Winnie the Pooh, Goofy, Minnie Mouse or any other smiling character from your childhood can still make you smile in the middle of a gray day if you only stop to notice them.

Our first vacation was 7 days in Orlando visiting Disney World and hanging out at the pool. The first day was bliss. Days 2-4 were rough, but I think we all learned a lot, me especially. Days 5-7 were fantastic. So all in all I think it was a successful trip. We need to go on vacation together more often… really we just need to stop and enjoy each other more often.

One of the most enjoyable discoveries about myself during this trip was realizing how sentimental I really am. I tend to be more of a task master most days. I want things done a certain way in a certain amount of time and I want them done right the first time. I found myself watching my kids experience things for the first time or enjoying a moment and I had to hold tears back. I caught myself off guard feeling this way. I want to cherish more moments like this more often. At first I thought I was being a sap, but then I realized that no, this is what parenting is supposed to feel like… this is the happy side of parenting (as opposed to my usual drill sargent/hall monitor/detention supervisor mentality). I liked it.

Really I just need to learn to relax more every day, stress less, micro-manage far less and do like I tell everyone else… remember to stop and breathe.

Recently I’ve started saving all kinds of packaging so I can create art projects using recycled items. Last week, I had purchased a package of mini muffins that came in this cool little plastic carton with a space for each individual muffin. My first thought was – cool, a paint box with it’s own lid! Then my husband walked in the room and said “hey cool, a little garden box”. What? Why didn’t I think of something so cute and cool… and why did he think of anything related at all?

So I decided I’d plant a few seeds. I have a big garden box in the backyard that I have yet to plant. We haven’t had any time to spend in the yard and the sprinkler isn’t set up to water the area yet. So the idea of planting a few seeds inside where I’ll remember to water them is pretty neat. This plastic box is even better… with a lid I can make a terrarium and not have to water at all!

I didn’t know if this would work, but I figured I’d try it out. Worst case, nothing would grow and I’d have to go to the grocery store and get my veggies… like I always do. So I planted butter lettuce seeds in all 12 spots. Looking at the numbers, I figured If only 3 came up, I’d still be up by 25% from the empty garden out back. That was Wednesday.

This photo was taken 5 minutes ago (3 days from planting day).

How cool is that? 3 days and I already have mini veggies growing. I figure by labor day I’ll have a whole salad! So food for thought for you (literally, right), same your plastic containers. Add some potting soil and a few seeds. Water. Close the lid and eventually you’ll have more food without having left the house. Neato!

I met a 5 year old girl today (5 and 3/4 to be exact) who blew me away with her personality. I was at the park while my son practiced baseball and my daughter played on the playground. This little girl walked up and started playing with my daughter… neither saying a word to one another, just interacting and eventually the conversation began to grow. An hour later they were pals, and I learned something amazing.

Some people really do know who they are at a young age. This little girl knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to approach people. She was kind, happy, eager to share yet didn’t comprimise what she wasn’t ok with. Without showing you a video, it’s probably difficult to describe the actions of such a young mind, but watching her was amazing.

I’ve read stories and watched movies where there were characters that are shining stars in the eyes of others, this girl had that sparkle no doubt. I wonder if she knows it and I wonder when she will realize it. Will she retain the knowledge of her grand potential and grow it or will she do like many of us and hide from our own self inflicted uncertainty?

Whatever it is and how ever it happens, this girl has something special and her letting it out for the world to see inspired me today.

Be true to yourself and be proud of it. Pretend you’re 5 again and just run out and be the you that you want to be!